Where’s The Time?

Do you ever reminisce about a particular moment or event from your past? Do you ever wish you could go back in time and change an unpleasant memory or make a wonderful one more memorable? If we’re honest with ourselves, I believe we’ve all done so at some point or time in our lives. Personally, if I had a nickel for every time I’ve thought, “If I knew back then what I know now,” I’m sure I’d be a millionaire many times over.

The truth is we can never go back and change anything in our past. Neither can we turn back the hands of time. Everything that’s happened in our past is meant to stay there – unchanged. That moment’s experience and purpose has been served. Whether it’s something that happened twenty years ago or a week ago, it’s gone forever. Fortunately though, we can learn much from our past experiences. Some of our greatest life lessons were discovered and experienced through failing.

Time is meant to be lived right now in the present. Yesterday’s past is no more and tomorrow’s future is still yet to be determined. Every new morning gifts us with a blank canvas to design and create our lives however we choose. Focus on being your best self possible while remaining in the present. Should an unpleasant situation from your past again find you in the present, carefully examine it and make a choice different from the one you made in your past.

There aren’t really any real losses in life. Whether we win or lose, we gain life experience. Don’t allow any storm clouds of past negativity to hinder your bright present. Time waits on no one, and change is the only constant so always be willing to change with it. Focus your energy and thoughts on being the best version of yourself and creating the best life possible right now while you still have time!

Weathering These Dog Days

The Dog Days of Summer symbolize the beginning of the end of Summer. These are usually the hottest, muggiest, driest, and steamiest days of the year. In addition to long days of blistering and stifling heat, it is also a period of drought and occasionally intense thunderstorms.

Initially coined by the ancient Romans, they defined the period of Dog Days being between July 3, to August 11. It is believed this is the period when Sirius, the Dog Star rises at the same time of the sun, and positions itself in the heavens to generate higher temperatures. Naturally, barring a necessity, the searing heat during the peak hours of the day inclines us to stay indoors, but there are safeguards we can utilize to survive the hottest of days. It goes without saying that adequate and continuous hydration must be a key staple to survive these days. Drink fluids all day, water preferably, but if not, at least try to limit your caffeine and alcohol intake. Try eating lighter and healthier by incorporating more fruit, salad and vegetables into your diet. This is gravely important for those who labor outside or kids who are outside for the majority of the day. If this is the case, try to wear lightweight, layered clothing including some type of headgear. If you and your kids are going to the beach or the pool, please be sure to wear an adequate amount of sunscreen.

We must also be mindful to keep a close eye on our seniors. The older they get, the harder it becomes to regulate their body temperature, especially when perspiring. Seniors with pacemakers or heart-related maladies should be monitored continuously. Heat is one of the leading causes of weather-related deaths in the U.S. causing hundreds of fatalities a year. So please take the necessary precautions by keeping a close eye on our friends and family. In so doing, together we can get through the Dog Days of Summer.

National Minority Mental Health Awareness Month

Among its designation as one of the hottest months in the height of Summer, July is also set aside as National Minority Mental Health Awareness Month. The hashtag theme of the 2019 campaign is #DepthOfMyIdentity. Sadly, in addition to the negative stigma surrounding all mental illnesses among minorities, minorities are less likely to even receive a diagnosis or treatment for their illness. Unfortunately, most minorities have less access to mental health care, and more often than not, those pursuing treatment usually receive a poorer quality of care.

Despite some slight advances in equity, disparities in mental health care between whites and minorities persist. According to The Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality (AHRQ), racial and ethnic minority groups in the United States (in addition to having less access to quality mental health care) are less likely to use community health services. Instead, they’re more likely to use emergency rooms, and as a consequence receive lower quality care.

Based on statistics stemming from late 2017, 41.5% of white youth, ages 12-17 received quality care for a major episode, but only 31.5% of Black youth and 32.7% of Hispanic youth received treatment for their condition. The numbers are significantly lower for Alaskan and Native American groups at 16.3% respectively. As a whole, Asian American adults were less likely to use mental health services than any other racial group.

Unfortunately, over the past 20 years, suicides are on the rise for all minorities. Research has shown that the United States’ suicide rate increased by more than 30% for more than half of the states between 1999-2016. In some states, the increase of suicides was as high as 58%. In 2016, it was estimated to be around 13.4 out of every 100,000 people, making it the 10th leading cause of death in the nation. The American Association for Suicidology (AAS) estimates there were more than 1.1 million suicide attempts in 2016 alone–translating to an attempt every 28 seconds. The numbers are even more mind boggling when factoring in minorities and homeless veterans.

Mental health should be a serious issue for everyone, but especially for minorities. We can no longer afford to look the other way, bury our heads in the sand, and pretend it doesn’t exist. It deserves our utmost attention, advocacy, focus, and action because none of us can afford the steep price of ignorance and inaction regarding mental health treatment for minorities.

The Art Of Communicating Effectively

With the month of June comes the hotter temperatures and the season of Summer. Its solstice takes place on June 21, which officially represents the first day of the Summer as well as the longest day of the year. School comes to an end for most students, and most families will take a vacation at some point.

Of all the numerous special days and weeks observed during June, I value Effective Communications Month the most. Its importance to all of us can’t be understated or undervalued, because communicating takes place in the world every second of every day. Personally, I believe, in order to be an effective communicator, we must first be effective listeners. The art of listening is a skill we must work at and hone daily. Listeninng and truly hearing and understanding what’s being clearly conveyed to you is the main cog on the communication wheel. Becoming effective and skilled listeners make us better communicators.

Communicating effectively also means being honest when giving feedback and being open to objectively receiving it. It means constructively taking the feedback from others and implementing in our daily lives to make us even better communicators. Spirited, but respective discussions will help us identify the key points that are critical to both parties clearly understanding each other.

When giving a talk or speaking to a large group of people, it’s important to first get to know the audience you’re speaking to. Clarity and respect far outweigh visual aids. Remember to stay focused and be present in the moment. Be optimistic! Being an effective communicator is an ongoing process, but patience and preparedness will earn you the respect from whomever you’re speaking to–group or individual. Lastly, no matter the audience, control your anger and keep your emotions intact. In so doing, you’ll be well on your way to becoming a more effective communicator.

Raising Awareness & Support For Mental Illness

Although May is designated for Mental Health Awareness Month, mental illness is a serious medical condition that affects millions of people every day of the year. Because it’s so misunderstood by most, those with mental illness often forgo sharing their condition with others. They’d rather suffer in silence instead of being judged by those ignorant of the daily struggle of living with a mental illness. These people are more than aware of the negative stigmas and opinions that are usually formed by those who don’t live with them. More often than not, the stress and anxiety from attempting to conceal their condition further exacerbates it. To combat this, more education and support about mental illness and those living with them is desperately needed.

By and large, mental illness affects only a small percentage of Americans annually. Roughly, only two to three percent of the population are diagnosed and live with some form of mental illness.

Unfortunately however, statistics show that nearly half of those diagnosed usually end in suicide. Even if a person is complying with everything necessary to live with their mental illness, the possibility of suicide remains with them throughout their lifetime. One can eat a proper diet, get enough sleep and exercise, take their meds while seeking regular therapy, and still be unable to escape suicide’s grasp.

As I’ve stated, I believe if people were more aware and supportive in regards to mental illness, the statistics for suicide would drastically decrease. Increased support, understanding, and interaction with those suffering with mental illness could help awareness to spread immensely. Suicides among adolescents, teens, and young adults is increasing–as is the number of veterans. According to statistics, approximately twenty veterans per day are committing suicide. Recently, due to them not receiving a timely appointment date, a couple of veterans took their lives at their local VA hospital. At schools, kids and adolescents are sometimes being bullied and harassed to the point of being shamed into suicide. Truthfully, no demographic is immune to mental illness–sometimes even our elders feel compelled to take their lives as well. Whether it’s due to the never ending pain of a chronic illness, or even loneliness, some feel the need to end their own lives.

Let’s use the month of May to to become even more aware and vigilant about mental illness. Let’s shine our light on its dangers and the potential treatment options that exist. Let’s use the rest of the year educating ourselves and others while providing much needed support and comfort to those affected.

Spring’s Sprung

With Spring’s arrival, all life begins anew. Flowers, buds, and trees begin to bloom and blossom, and the bumble bees are busy pollinating it all. New life sprouts up and grows all around us as Winter begins its hibernation. The warm temperatures and sunny skies automatically brighten everyone’s mood.

Spring’s warmth and showers accelerate growth’s explosion as it sets the table for Summer. The buds and blossoms of Spring will reach maturity by Summertime. Flowers will be in full bloom, lawns will be green, and the trees will wear their soft, pliable leaves. Longer days filled with more sunlight will soften and moisten the soil for gardening and planting. Everything feels fresh and new–as do we.

Spring gives us an opportunity to enjoy the outdoors. We get to enjoy the parks, amphitheaters, and and other outdoor venues as well. We even welcome the pollen, as long as there are warm rain showers to wash it away. We get to thoroughly clean our homes and store our cold weather clothing away.

Spring is a symbol of rebirth. It’s when hibernating animals like bears awaken and become active. It’s when other species give birth to their offspring as well. With daylight savings time, we’re even given an extra hour to enjoy the warm weather months. There’s so much to look forward to–Easter, Passover, Earth Day, Mother’s Day, and Father’s Day all occur in the warm weather months as well. Lastly, Spring brings us cheer and warmth while lifting every last one of us out of Winter’s doldrums and cold temperatures. Enjoy your Spring!

Mental Health Awareness Month

May is Mental Health Awareness Month. To me, mental health is just as important as physical health–if not more vital. Sometimes, to those of us affected, they effect each other, but the preconceived notions and underlying stigmas associated with it can easily influence those diagnosed to suffer in silence. I hope to dispel some of the common myths regarding mental illnesses. Mental illness covers an array of disorders, so allow me to shine a light on them here:

Anxiety Disorders: People affected with anxiety disorders respond to objects or situations with fear or dread. They may also respond physically with a rapid heartbeat or sweating, tremors, nausea, headaches and even muscle tension. General Anxiety Disorder, Panic Disorder, PTSD and OCD are common anxiety disorders.

Psychotic Disorders: These disorders can involve having hallucinations with images or sounds that aren’t real as well as delusions and false fixed beliefs the person believes to be true. Schizophrenia is the most common type of this disorder, although hallucinations can also be present with bipolar disorder.

Eating Disorders: Attitudes and behaviors involving weight and food. Anorexia Nervosa and Bulimia Nervosa are the most common within this group.

Impulse Control Disorder: These people are unable to resist urges or impulses. Some examples are pyromania, kleptomania and compulsive gambling.

Personality Disorders: These people have extreme and inflexible personality traits that are distressing to them. Can cause problems with work, school and normal functioning in general. They include Antisocial Personality Disorder and Paranoid Personality Disorder.

Mood Disorders: Mood disorders are known as affective disorders such as depression or bipolar disorder.

I Intentionally listed this disorder last because I’m extremely familiar with it–it’s a part of who I am.

It’s always disappointing when I hear anyone who observes someone else’s unusual behavior and automatically assumes that they’re bipolar. Bipolar Disorder only affects a small percentage of the general population–roughly 2.6% are diagnosed as bipolar. Sadly, statistics show that half of those diagnosed end with suicide, 1.6%. Moreover, 25% of those suicides are usually violent in nature.

Bipolar Disorder is a lifetime journey of cycling from the heights of mania, feeling God-like, invincible, and compulsive. Then crashing headfirst into the deep, dark pit of despair and depression. You find yourself powerless and without the necessary energy to pull yourself out. Even when a ladder constructed of medication and therapy is thrown into the hole for you to pull yourself out, you only manage to climb a few rungs before hopelessly falling back down. Formally known as manic depression, it’s debilitating and with you for a lifetime. Like I previously mentioned, it can lead to suicide. While I’ve never felt like committing suicide, if I’m honest, I can recall numerous times I’ve wished for death.

Even though May is Mental Health Awareness Month, I encourage everyone to take the time to learn more about mental illness disorders. With most of them being hereditary, chances are a family member or maybe a close friend will be affected. My prayer is for my journey to educate and inspire others to become more aware and hopefully eradicate the negative stigma associated with it. We can’t deal with something as serious as mental health without first shining a huge light on it and acknowledging its existence.

Here’s To Men’s Health

June officially ushers us into our Summer season. The school year has ended, families are vacationing, and weddings are being celebrated, among other things. June is also Men’s Health Month. As men, the majority of us are always reluctant to go to the doctor when we aren’t feeling well. Be it bravado, ego, or just plain stubbornness, most of us blindly trust that whatever illness we’re dealing with will eventually go away without seeking any medical attention.

Sadly, for us menfolk, it takes an unfortunate incident or illness for us to even consider seeking treatment, much less take it seriously. Be it a heart attack, stroke, cancer, high blood pressure, obesity, or even osteoarthritis; something has to get our attention. The good news is it’s more than probable that a great deal of those maladies can be avoided by simply practicing preventative medicine. Preventative medicine’s goal is to effectively protect, promote and maintain overall health and well-being in hopes of preventing disease, disability, and even death.

As men, it’s clear we must become more concerned and proactive in regards to our overall physical well-being. That means going to the doctor when we’re not feeling well, annual physicals with a complete blood workup, along with digital prostrate exams. A few moments of discomfort could possibly save your life! Scheduling a colonoscopy every ten years for men over fifty (every five years if there’s a family history of colon cancer), eating a healthy and well balanced diet, drinking more water and monitoring your alcohol intake are all helpful ways to maintain your overall health. Also, incorporating at least thirty minutes of some form of exercise three times a week can make you feel better as well.

Finally, I encourage women to not only insist that the men in their lives practice preventative medicine, but to always seek medical care whenever they’re not feeling well. Ignoring your health, or toughing out pain and discomfort is not the true measure of a man–a real man is always concerned about their health, and always takes it seriously. As men, it’s on us to make the choice of a healthy lifestyle!

Final Justice

June 26, 2018

Spalding County Courthouse

Griffin, Georgia

“Hopefully sir, you have stabbed your last victim. Bailiffs, secure the defendant and remove him from the courthouse.” Those were the final words Judge Fletcher Sams spoke before ending the trial and adjourning the court.

After nearly thirty-five years to bring this case to trial, the jury needed only seven hours to find the defendant, Franklin George Gebhardt, guilty of the brutal and racially motivated murder of Timothy Coggins in 1983. He was murdered for befriending and dating a white woman. For everyone involved, there was high anxiety accompanied by a whirlwind of emotions.

The defendant sat motionless and stared ahead blankly as his fate was sealed with a guilty verdict attached to each count. Convicted of malice murder, felony murder, aggravated battery, aggravated assault and concealing the death of another. He was sentenced to life in prison plus thirty years. The sentence would be served consecutively, which would probably be for the rest of his natural life. In early October of 1983, Mr. Coggins’s mangled, tortured, and nearly unrecognizable body was found in an open field near some power lines in Griffin. With more than thirty stab wounds to his body, he was then chained to the back of a pickup truck and dragged behind it.

When the sheriff’s department and the GBI received a tip about some key evidence last year, Franklin Gebhardt and William Moore Sr. were arrested and charged with murder. Based on physical evidence retrieved from Gebhardt’s property, and the testimony of some colorful witnesses, the guilty verdict was reached.

For the Coggins family, this was a day that they’d waited nearly thirty-five years to see. Overcome with emotion as she read the family’s impact statement, Heather Coggins thanked Judge Sams, the prosecution team of Benjamin Coker and Marie Broder, the GBI, Sheriff Darrell Dix and his department, as well as the jury. “We’re so elated and grateful to God that we can finally say to the younger generations in our family that justice has finally been served for Tim. His murder did not go unpunished. He was a wonderful person–a son, brother, uncle, cousin and friend. When the arrests were made, we counted it a victory that everyone would soon know what we’ve always known. On their deathbeds, both my grandmother and grandfather hoped that this day would come. Now, we can visit Uncle Tim’s grave, along with my grandparent’s graves (Viola and Robert Dorsey), and tell them that justice has been finally served.”

Downstairs and outside of the courthouse, the prosecution team stated they’d spend these next few weeks preparing their case for the second defendant, William Moore Sr. His trial is set to begin in August.

This particular case has personal significance to me. My wife, Shawanda Peavy-Butts, is the second cousin of Timothy Coggins and I’ve been a part of this family for more than twenty-eight years.

Smart Technology: Help Or Hindrance?

Tremendous technological advances have been occurring within this last century or so. Some are brand new while others are improvements of existing technology. With smartphones, computers, televisions, appliances, and even automobiles, could our digital progression be expediting our regression as people? In this world of apps, websites, and even music, it’s far too easy to become complacent and lulled into mindlessness.

Armed with a smartphone, you can practically purchase anything you desire: cars, vacations, clothing, and groceries. You can apply for mortgages, credit, do your banking, purchase insurance and investment products as well. You can also apply for a job, find a date, babysitter, or pet groomer. If you’ve already left for your vacation and are unsure of whether you turned off the appliances or lights, adjusted the thermostat, or even locked the door, there’s no need to panic–you can take care of all of these things with your phone.

How are families affected? There’s hardly any conversations over meals anymore. Even in restaurants, you’ll see entire families just sitting there reading or playing with their phones instead of talking and laughing with each other. And if you do happen to see them talking, chances are they’re discussing something they saw while on their phone. Not to mention how alluring and addictive social media platforms have become–i.e. FaceBook, Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn, Pinterest, etc. Studies show that spending two hours on your phone a day is equal to an entire month in a calendar year.

While these amazing technological strides have no doubt helped more than they have harmed, if we’re not careful, they’ll easily distract us and distort our reality, our focus, and things like human touch and face to face interaction. Blocks of time and pieces of life will be lost to and controlled by our smart devices. Let’s make a commitment to be smarter and to do better.